Genocide

What I have seen today is still really hard for me to process. I visited Tuol Sleng (S-21 prison), where most Cambodians were tortured and killed during the Khmer Rouge Regime. The first room I went to had an empty bed with chains on it, and beside it was a picture of the person who was last tortured. Everything was very overwhelming and too much to handle. I think I forced myself to distance myself away from reality by ignoring the truth. I did not want to believe what really happened at this place. I did not want to know that so many people suffered and treated in ways I cannot imagine. I could still see the bloodstains on the floors, everything was left untouched after the horror ended. The next building displayed the pictures of victims who died in this very prison. There were pictures of people of all ages, from babies to elders. It hurts to see that someone can be so inhumane and murder a baby who is just a couple months old. Then you just begin to ask why? Why all of these people? Did all of these people really die? I don't want to believe it, but I know the truth.

Afterwards I visited Cheung Ek, the memorial site for the Killing Fields. Many were executed here by decapitation, by blows to their heads from different sharped objects, or some other horrible way. I walked by the graves and saw the skulls, the bones, and their clothes. It felt so empty, so painful. Many innocent lives lost for what? I feel so much pain because I still wish I could have saved them. The only thing I can give them is justice.

I called my mother to talk to her because I missed her. She told me her father was killed in Tuol Sleng and to find his picture. I could not find it sadly and I will continue to keep searching. I am so happy to have my mother in my life. I still cannot believe what she had experienced in the Khmer Rouge era. She is such a strong woman, and I am proud to say she is my mother. I will do anything in my power to give her justice for her pain and suffering. I will do whatever I can for Cambodia.