Living on my own

I've been living on my own for these past days and it's different. I've never been on my own before without someone I knew who would be nearby. I think it's a good thing though. Having fewer distractions has led me to discover what I am most afraid of. I have been hiding from my past for a very long time, too scared to face what's there. Now is my time to be brave.

I think I identify with Cambodia so much because of the struggle it is trying to overcome. I know our struggles are completely different, but they are still obstacles in life. That's why I have so much hope in the future of Cambodia because it's also what I want for myself.

Svay Reing Interview

The same day I interviewed a 30-year old teacher who was part of the Genocide Education Training for Teachers. We picked her out of many and were lucky to have chosen such a great candidate for my interview. What I found most intriguing about our interview is her view of the countryside and industry. She believed that Cambodian society depended on agriculture and farming and we lack the expertise or technology to help farmers. Compared to Vietnam, we do not have technicians to find solutions for times when agricultural production is interrupted in some way by certain disasters. Most technicians are located in the city and are not able to work and help farmers with their fields directly. I liked her answer because she used the advantages of industry to help preserve the agricultural culture of Cambodia. That is what we need. The answer is to help the countryside people and provide them with different necessities. There should be no more factories and businesses being built over such beautiful land anymore. When we destroy it, we can never have it back again.

Svay Rieng

I went to Svay Reing this past weekend, a province near the Vietnamese border. We dined at a friend of Pou Youk’s who lived in the countryside. They welcomed us with kindness and with great hospitality. Pou had told me that his friend, who now was a teacher, built his whole house himself. He recently built a kitchen for his wife, which was very touching to me. Cambodian people in the countryside work very hard and do not gloat about their accomplishments. They sit humbly watching their guest, hoping they are happy. The lady’s mother told me to not mind them because they are countryside people. They may feel embarrassed but I have nothing but admiration for them. Making their own food, harvesting their own rice, building their own shelter is nothing to be ashamed about. I find so much strength in Cambodians and see it in our culture overall. That is why we cannot lose that part of our culture, it is very important to the lives of Cambodians. The land they live on is so precious and cannot be given up to the evils of the growing industries. I hope they will preserve their land and understand how valuable their land is compared to money. I hope all the countryside people understand this very important fact. I felt so peaceful, so enlightened by their way of life. Nothing I have ever really seen before. I appreciated the moment we all had together because together we shared something special.

Angkor Wat

I went to visit Angkor Wat located in Siem Reap about a week ago. I was able to see the ancient temples and ride on an elephant! I also had the opportunity to talk to the villagers who lived around the temple. Most of them have lived here all their lives and know the ancient myths of the great temple. We visited this one lady because we were told she knew many stories so we came and listened. As she was telling her stories, I could not help but observe her home. It was made out of wood like most Cambodian like huts. There was no real kitchen or bathroom. There were so many bugs and mosquitoes. Her grandchild was covered with mosquito bites and she was itching her back while talking to us at times. Her granddaughter was so beautiful, but lived in such poor living conditions. I hoped she would still be able to have a good life, but truly knew she probably will not. I smiled at her hoping it could make a difference somehow, but I can really do nothing. She was seven years old but looked only about four. I gave her some bug spray and thanked her grandmother for her participation. I cannot forget this experience because this is one of the first times I witnessed firsthand the lives they truly live. I never went to a third world country before and Cambodia being my homeland made everything different. The difference I felt was that these people were my people, and I could do nothing to make their lives better. But as I said before, I cannot change the conditions now; I have the power only to change the future, which always gives me hope.

Anlong Veng

Anlong Veng is a province located near the Thai Border. This also where most former Khmer Rouge cadres live. All I can say it was a great learning experience that still has kept me thinking and understanding all that happened in those few days. I did what I could and witnessed what I saw. That's all I can say.

Starting A Blog

Time to start this blogging process. There is so much to share to others and also I do not want to forget all the adventures I have here. I am in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, the country of smiles. Underneath all the smiles lies the sadness within. Cambodia is a country with a painful past keeping many of the inhabitants hidden under their solemn hearts. The agricultural based society coexisting with the growing industrialized world has caused many difficulties in the nation. Many are poor and struggle to survive each day. They continue each day without dreams and wants because their needs are never met. However, before I arrived here I knew I had to come with an open mind and with no expectations. I did not want any predisposed thoughts and beliefs about this place because I wanted to see the country as it was. I wanted to see all the beauty it offered. I destroyed any walls blocking me from seeing it's pure nature. I know Cambodia has many starving people, I know there is a corrupted wealthy class disregarding the poor, I know many are suffering. But I can not lose sight of what I need to do here by observing the negative. I need to capture the positive because we need to see the road to a hopeful future.